Monday, April 13, 2009

De-friending your facebook "Friends"

So if you read my last post (immediately below this), you'll find that perhaps the ideal number of close friends a person could have is five.

I joined the evil facebook on a friend's recommendation, and I suddenly had 50+ "friends" and numerous requests for "friend"-ship from people whose daily goings-on I really don't want or need to know.

So I un-friended a lot of people and managed to get my circle down to 20.  I'm sure it's a little evil.  I'm sure some people will be facebook "mad" now that I'm no longer their facebook "friend," but seriously how do people manage a group of 700 "friends"?  I'm certain I don't know.

I un-friended every woman I was "friends" with.  That was easy.  Besides, I'm "friends" and actual friends with all their husbands, making our friendship unnecessary.  I even un-friended my sister-in-law and my sister-in-law-to-be.  I un-friended people I went to high school and college with whom I don't see, won't see, and wouldn't stop by and visit if I were in their city.  I also un-friended every person who sent me a facebook "cat."  This, I believe, will now be my personal rule: send me a cat, I de-friend you.

Anyway, my circle of friends is now 20.  It will take some soul searching for me to narrow the list some more, but I'm sure I'll need it as I continue to get requests and still try and keep my group down to a reasonable, manageable size.


6 comments:

Matty said...

If they were to change the verbiage to state that you have X number of "casual acquaintances, former classmates and other assorted people you might care about" would you be less exclusive in your list? Is it the insult to concept of friend that offends?

I think of them more like a collection of random people whose periodic status updates at least MIGHT occasionally be of interest. I don't expect much from the format and am pleasantly surprised if it yields more than that.

With the sheer volume of subscribers (ie, nearly everyone I know below a given age) it functions more like an email inbox heavy on silly applications.

mark said...

I don't have much to add to your method of selection - except that perhaps in addition to the sending of cats as a negative criteria, you should add individuals who can't help but hit the "reply all" button on e-mail, and definately the individuals who feel the need to send chain letters - cause if you don't share this with the people you love, it is proof that you don't love them at all!

Matty said...

Well if it makes you feel any better... I didn't realize you un-friended me until I just read your blog. :) (Point proven) It's ok though... i'll just sign onto Matt's page if I feel the need to sabotage your facebook wall.

Matty said...

I am not having a good day in posting comments... Obviously the 2nd Matty comment is not him, but me.

The Coach said...

I'm flabbergasted that one of my now-former-"friends" but who is still my friend has tried twice in two days to re-friend me. We're not close friends (and shouldn't be).

Maybe I'm going about this the wrong way. It's not that I don't want to have access to the information my friends make available; I just want to not feel obligated to read every thing everybody posts. I also want to have just one inbox. I'm tired of checking all my emails, reading my blogs, and fb to trying to remember if there's something else I'm forgetting.

The Coach said...

I'm flabbergasted that one of my now-former-"friends" but who is still my friend has tried twice in two days to re-friend me. We're not close friends (and shouldn't be).

Maybe I'm going about this the wrong way. It's not that I don't want to have access to the information my friends make available; I just want to not feel obligated to read every thing everybody posts. I also want to have just one inbox. I'm tired of checking all my emails, reading my blogs, and fb to trying to remember if there's something else I'm forgetting.