Ever notice how expensive diapers are? Yesterday, I spent $112 on diapers. Seriously. I'm probably not the first person to rant about this, but they're expensive. As I am a poorly-paid public servant, my wife and I buy store-brand diapers for our boys (22 months and 5 months). Our local Grocery Warehouse (a ghetto subsidiary of Albertson's) is closing for some unknown reason, and when I went by yesterday, diapers were 30% off. So I actually cleared them out of size 3, 4, and 5 diapers. My cart runneth over. Towers of yellow plastic packages threatened to tumble over the edges of my cart as I headed towards the checkout and received inquisitive looks.
Here's the boring math: 6 packs of size 3's = 240 diapers; 12 packs of size 4's = 408 diapers, 3 packs of size 5's = 90. So, I bought 738 diapers yesterday at about 15 cents apiece. Again, we buy the cheap stuff. Huggies and Pampers cost roughly a third more than the store-brand diapers, so they're almost double what we pay. I haven't checked to see what the Eddie Bauer or - gasp - Louie Vuitton-branded poop catchers cost.
We often change the boys if we think they might have a dirty diaper, if they had a loud fart, or if we can't really remember the last time we changed them. Can you imagine paying 15 cents everytime you (insert colorful euphemism here)? I - I mean this friend of mine - goes enough that he'd be paying over a dollar a day into the void.
A potty-trained kid is a frugal kid.
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6 comments:
Well done my friend. I am beginning to see that the quality of your commentary will be perpetually brilliant. Thanks for the laughs.
It just occured to me that you, I mean your friend, should price out the toilet paper necessary for $1 in daily craps (at 15 cents a plop). It gets to be expensive to do as much 'reading' as I do in a day. Of course, I'm sure it's only a drop in the bucket compared to how much TP we left distributed on assorted trees, houses and fences during our 'younger and more vulnerable years'.
A drop in the bucket...it slays me.
I'm not sure that it's kosher to post comments that refer to (gasp) a spoken conversation. I fear that I may be kicked off my blog for resorting to personal contact, but I digress. Per last night's update on a further poop pouch purchase (accidental alliteration), I wonder if, as a filthy capitalist, you are trying to corner the market in diapers to repress the developing world.
It is certainly not indoubt that I'm a filthy capitalist; in fact, if I could directly buy shares of pampers/huggies/depends incorporated, I almost certainly would. Unfortunately, I don't think I'll be in a position to sell any of the "shares" I bought over the last two days; even though we now have over 1400 diapers, they probably will not last the year and my options will go down the toilet.
Good thing no one reads our blogs. You just foolishly outed youreslf as a near-conservative. The teachers union may bring in some boys from Chicago to "talk" to you about your anti-labor attitude. I caught your none too subtle puns and loved them. This thread (I think that's the term) is just rife with punny stuff, once again proving to me that some of our best stuff revolves around bathroom humor.
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